Think About It

- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

- It"s always darkest before dawn. So if you"re going to steal the neighbor"s newspaper, that"s the time to do it.

- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

- If you think nobody cares if you"re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

- If you tell the truth you don"t have to remember anything.

- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

- Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

- If at first you don"t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

- Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

- To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.


- Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonald"s makes you a hamburger.

- A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.

- Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

- Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.

- Learn from the mistakes of others. You can"t live long enough to make them all yourself.

- Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked.

- Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it.

Holidays

An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter. And Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur. Muslims have their holidays, too."

"Every religion has holidays to celebrate. But we atheists," he said, "have no recognized national holiday. It"s an unfair discrimination"

His friend replied..."Well, why don"t you celebrate April 1st?"